Is anger when healing from trauma something to worry about? Not at all. Anger is a natural response especially after experiences that involve pain, injustice, or fear. Many trauma survivors struggle with what to do when anger shows up. But feeling it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human.
Why Anger Shows Up in Trauma Recovery
Anger when healing from trauma is often misunderstood. It’s not always about rage. Sometimes it surfaces as irritation, resentment, or the quiet thought, “This isn’t fair.” Anger can be a signal pointing to deeper feelings like hurt or fear that haven’t been fully processed yet.
Do You Need Anger to Heal from Trauma?
No, not everyone will feel intense anger and that’s okay. What matters most is what you do if it’s present. When anger is acknowledged, validated, and expressed safely, it can help release shame and restore a sense of power. But if it’s repressed, it may build and come out sideways hurting you or others.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to feel anger to heal but if it shows up, it can be a valuable part of the process. Anger when healing from trauma isn’t bad. It’s a message. And with the right support, it can even lead to powerful growth.
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
Toxic relationships can be emotionally exhausting and leave you questioning your worth. One of the most confusing aspects of these relationships is how manipulation can make you feel like you’re always at fault. A common tactic used by those in toxic relationships is shifting blame.
But here’s the truth: You are not responsible for someone else’s toxic behavior. Recognizing this fact is the first step toward healing and protecting yourself.
Signs of Toxic Relationships
In a toxic relationship, manipulation can look like deflecting blame, denying accountability, and making you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault. These dynamics often leave you feeling unsure of yourself, second-guessing your actions, and even apologizing for things that weren’t your doing.
It’s vital to recognize these patterns as red flags. When someone consistently refuses to take responsibility for their actions, it can create an unhealthy, one-sided relationship. This dynamic can affect your mental health and make it harder to set boundaries.
How to Protect Yourself from Toxic Relationships
If you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, it’s essential to take a step back and prioritize your well-being. Start by recognizing the toxic patterns and allowing yourself to step back and take care of yourself. You deserve respect, empathy, and understanding.
Healing from toxic relationships starts with setting clear boundaries and refusing to tolerate behavior that harms you. It’s okay to walk away, even if someone tries to guilt-trip you. Trust yourself and your feelings, they are valid, and your emotional health matters.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
One of the most powerful tools in protecting yourself is setting healthy boundaries. This can be challenging, especially if you’ve been in a toxic relationship for a long time, but it’s a necessary step in reclaiming your power. Remember, boundaries are about protecting your emotional space and ensuring that you’re not compromising your well-being for someone else’s comfort.
If you’re not sure where to start, I created a free mini course on boundaries to help you take those first steps with more clarity and confidence. Click HERE to start your journey.
The Path to Healing
Healing from a toxic relationship isn’t an overnight process, but by recognizing the toxicity, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, you’ll begin to feel more empowered and in control. Surround yourself with people who support your growth and well-being. Seek professional support if needed, and allow yourself the time and space to heal.
Toxic relationships don’t have to define your future. Recognizing the manipulation and breaking free from it is a brave and empowering step toward healing. You are deserving of love and respect, never forget that.
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
When we think of self care, it’s easy to picture bubble baths, candles, or a cozy night in. But how self-care helps mental health goes far beyond surface-level comfort. Real self-care is about creating a life that feels safe, steady, and nourishing.
Supporting the Nervous System Through Self-Care
If you have experienced trauma, you might find yourself stuck in patterns of hypervigilance or emotional shutdown. This is where consistent and intentional self-care becomes powerful. Practices like getting enough sleep, following a gentle routine, journaling, or moving your body mindfully help your nervous system settle. This is one way self-care helps mental health from the inside out. It creates a sense of internal safety, even when the outside world feels overwhelming.
Emotional Self-Care and Boundaries
Self-care also includes emotional well-being. This means saying no when you need to, taking breaks without guilt, and letting yourself feel without judgment. Emotional self care helps you create boundaries, choose supportive relationships, and show yourself compassion on the hard days. These are all key ways that self-care supports your mental health.
What Self-Care Looks Like for You
There is no single version of self-care. It might be mindfully doing the dishes, canceling plans, going to therapy, making time for deep breaths throughout your day, or unfollowing harmful content online. The most important part is whether it nourishes your mental health. How self-care helps mental health will look different for everyone, but the purpose remains the same: to help you feel safe, grounded, and supported.
Your needs are valid. And the small steps you take to meet them matter deeply. They are signs of healing, strength, and self respect.
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
As you are probably aware, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I’ve been sitting with what I want to say to acknowledge it for a couple of weeks.
To be honest, the words haven’t come easily.
I often talk about what is possible when we use our voices, both individually and collectively. How we have the ability to end the shame and stigma and create safe spaces to show up vulnerably when we share our stories and struggles. I talk about hope and oftentimes hold it for those who can’t yet trust it. Whatever your experience, your age, or struggle, no matter how many times you’ve tried and believed you’ve failed, healing is possible.
But, this year, more than any other time, I’m speaking as someone who’s struggling to hold it personally.
When someone who is a bully and had multiple, credible accusations of rape and abuse was elected 8 years ago, I remember the quiet devastation that settled in my body. It wasn’t political, it was deeply personal.
I work with survivors of sexual trauma every day. I see the lifelong work it takes to feel safe in their bodies again. I walk beside people as they learn to trust themselves, their voices, and their worth. That’s why it felt like such an incredible betrayal to humanity.
What do you say to the people you’ve helped believe in their power, when the country elects a man who abuses his?
What do you do when your own hope feels threatened?
And now, years later, here we are again.
A culture that still doesn’t believe survivors, even when a jury holds the perpetrator accountable.
A system that protects power instead of people.
An entire half of the government falling in line with a man who has a long record of racism and misogyny feeling their power expand with every act of cruelty.
So yes, there are days I wonder…
Have I been wrong to believe we can change things?
Have I misled people by sharing what I believe and stories of healing, truth, and hope?
But then… something small reminds me.
The client who shares her story out loud for the first time.
The friend who shares her struggle, even when it’s uncomfortable.
The survivor who says, “I didn’t think I could feel this way.”
The person who speaks out when someone says a rape joke.
The moments of softness and connection in a world so loud.
These are not small things.
They are seismic shifts. Not always felt or seen at the time, but cracks that let the light… and hope back in.
So, today, I’m not writing this from a place of nicely wrapped up hope. I’m writing from the messy middle, where hope and heartbreak live side by side.
Where truth-telling is an act of resistance.
Where staying tender is a quiet revolution.
Where holding on to hope isn’t about “positive vibes”, it’s about fierce commitment to what can be, even when we’re surrounded by what should never have been.
If you’ve had moments (or months) of feeling tired, disillusioned, or heartbroken, I want you to know…
You are not naive for hoping for more.
You are not weak for needing rest or using distraction as a way of coping.
You are not alone in your pain or fears.
This month, and every month, may we keep imagining something different.
May we keep honoring the stories that were silenced.
May we keep holding one another in community through the grief, sadness, and hope.
May we keep fighting for a world that deserves our hope, because we deserve it too. 💜 #togetherwestand and #togetherweheal
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
Have you ever felt scattered, pulled in multiple directions, struggling to focus on what truly matters? The ability to cultivate focus and intent is a powerful practice that can bring clarity and purpose into your life. When we consciously direct our energy toward what we desire, we open ourselves to opportunities, growth, and transformation. But what does that really mean, and how can we embrace it without falling into the trap of toxic positivity?
Understanding the Tracker Mindset
This week, I pulled the “Tracker” card from the Native Spirit deck by Denise Linn. The message behind this card is simple yet profound: focus your energy on one thing instead of scattering it in different directions. When you track the unseen but real stream of energy toward your desires, you align yourself with your goals and intentions.
Trackers have the ability to concentrate so intensely that everything else fades away. What you focus on grows—when you direct your thoughts toward positivity, you naturally attract opportunities and experiences that support your journey. However, it’s also essential to acknowledge that life is complex, and shifting focus isn’t always easy, especially for those navigating trauma, anxiety, or neurodivergence.
The Pitfalls of Simplistic Thinking
One of the common narratives around focus and intent is the idea that “thinking positively” will always attract positive experiences. While there’s truth to the concept that our mindset influences our reality, it’s not as simple as flipping a mental switch. Life is nuanced, and telling ourselves to “just think positive” can sometimes lead to feelings of shame or self-blame when challenges arise.
Rather than forcing positivity, consider cultivating self-compassion. If you’re struggling to focus on the good, ask yourself: What feels safe for me right now?How can I gently open myself to possibility? Instead of berating yourself for negative thoughts, try shifting your self-talk to something like, It’s okay for me to take small steps toward what I want. My worth isn’t tied to how positive my thoughts are.
Finding Balance: Intentional Focus vs. Pressure to Perform
The idea of focusing intently on one thing can be empowering, but for many, it may feel unrealistic. Life is full of responsibilities, and for those with anxiety or neurodivergence, single-minded focus can be particularly challenging. If that resonates with you, give yourself grace. Rather than striving for perfection, carve out small moments in your day to intentionally direct your energy toward what matters most. Even five minutes of mindful focus on a passion, goal, or relationship can create momentum over time.
It’s not about forcing yourself into an unnatural state of focus—it’s about honoring your capacity and working within it. Let go of judgment and recognize that your journey is valid, no matter how long it takes.
Embracing Your Path with Compassion
Ultimately, focus and intent are about creating space for what truly matters in your life. If you feel scattered, take a deep breath. Acknowledge where you are, release the pressure of needing to “get it right,” and trust that even small steps count. You deserve to invest your energy in what fulfills you.
What came up for you as you read this? Did anything resonate? Let’s connect in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts!
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
