When we think of self care, it’s easy to picture bubble baths, candles, or a cozy night in. But how self-care helps mental health goes far beyond surface-level comfort. Real self-care is about creating a life that feels safe, steady, and nourishing.
Supporting the Nervous System Through Self-Care
If you have experienced trauma, you might find yourself stuck in patterns of hypervigilance or emotional shutdown. This is where consistent and intentional self-care becomes powerful. Practices like getting enough sleep, following a gentle routine, journaling, or moving your body mindfully help your nervous system settle. This is one way self-care helps mental health from the inside out. It creates a sense of internal safety, even when the outside world feels overwhelming.
Emotional Self-Care and Boundaries
Self-care also includes emotional well-being. This means saying no when you need to, taking breaks without guilt, and letting yourself feel without judgment. Emotional self care helps you create boundaries, choose supportive relationships, and show yourself compassion on the hard days. These are all key ways that self-care supports your mental health.
What Self-Care Looks Like for You
There is no single version of self-care. It might be mindfully doing the dishes, canceling plans, going to therapy, making time for deep breaths throughout your day, or unfollowing harmful content online. The most important part is whether it nourishes your mental health. How self-care helps mental health will look different for everyone, but the purpose remains the same: to help you feel safe, grounded, and supported.
Your needs are valid. And the small steps you take to meet them matter deeply. They are signs of healing, strength, and self respect.
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
The stigma surrounding mental illness and sexual trauma often keeps survivors in silence, burdened by shame. But what if there was a way to change it? By talking openly about trauma and the impact it creates, we can start dismantling the stigma… and shame and create a space where survivors feel supported and empowered.
The Destructive Power of Shame
Shame is one of the most damaging aspects of sexual trauma. It thrives in silence, keeping survivors isolated. When society stigmatizes trauma, it deepens this sense of shame, making it harder for survivors to seek help or share their experiences.
Normalizing Conversations Around Trauma
To combat stigma, we need to normalize conversations about sexual trauma. The more openly we talk, the less shame survivors experience and the more awareness it builds in society. As these discussions become more common, survivors will feel safe enough to seek help and heal.
How Silence Feeds Stigma and Shame
Silence breeds shame. When survivors keep their trauma hidden, they internalize the belief that their experience is something to be ashamed of. Breaking the silence helps release that burden, allowing survivors to take back control of their stories.
Empowering Survivors to Break the Silence
Empowering survivors starts with breaking the silence. Survivors reclaim their power by sharing their stories without fear of judgment. As we continue these conversations, we create a space where healing can truly begin and deepen over time.
The Road to Healing Starts with Conversation
Healing begins with the courage to speak. When we break the silence, we create a world where survivors feel safe to share, heal, and thrive. Together, we can change the narrative and end the stigma around sexual trauma.
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
Being blamed for your trauma can feel devastating. It’s one of the most significant factors in why survivors don’t tell anyone. Whether it’s an outright question like “Why didn’t you say something?” or a more subtle “Are you sure that’s what happened?” it often undermines your sense of safety, reinforces shame, and can deepen the trauma you’ve already experienced.
Understanding Where Victim Blaming Comes From
So, how can you respond to victim blaming and stay grounded in your truth… and trust that you’re not to blame? First, it’s important to understand that victim blaming often stems from fear or ignorance. It’s a way for others to avoid confronting their own vulnerability. While that never excuses the behavior, recognizing this can help you separate their discomfort and rationalizations from your experience.
Grounded Responses That Protect Your Peace
One powerful response is simply silence. You don’t owe anyone your story nor is it your job to educate every person you come across who invalidates your lived experience. However, if and when you’re feeling confident and rooted in truth, you can also name what their reaction is: “That feels like blaming, and it’s not okay nor is it true.” If you’re in a space where it feels safe and you have the desire to educate, you could say something like, “Actually, many survivors freeze as a biological response. It’s a survival coping mechanism and a trauma response.”
Their Words Reflect Them, Not You
Remember, victim blaming says more about the speaker than it does about you. They may be uncomfortable with the reality of trauma, and it shows up by responding in this way. Your job isn’t to convince them, but to honor your own truth. Healing includes learning when to engage, when to step away, and how to protect your well-being.
The Power of a Survivor Community
It can also be helpful to build community with other survivors. Hearing each other’s stories reminds us that we’re not alone, and it reinforces that we were never to blame.
When Support Isn’t Available
Sometimes, the hardest thing is recognizing that not everyone, sometimes even those closest to us, is capable of being supportive. That’s okay. It’s not a reflection of your worth or the validity of your experience. In these cases, setting boundaries around who you choose to share your story with is important . And, when others criticize someone else for being a “victim,” they’re often in denial of their own struggles. Don’t let their words dictate how and when you choose to share or how you choose to speak about trauma.
Protecting Yourself and Your Story Is a Form of Healing
Healing never requires others acceptance. The only acceptance and understanding you need to heal is your own.
For more on navigating victim blaming, check out this video:
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
The following is a summary with key points of the video.
The Core of Healing: Trusting in Your Worthiness
When we talk about healing from childhood trauma, we often focus on different aspects—setting boundaries, self-care, processing emotions. But at the core of it all is one essential element: worthiness. Without believing in our worthiness, the steps we take toward healing can feel fragile, temporary, or even out of reach.
Healing isn’t just about actions… it’s about the deep, internal shift toward trusting in your worthiness. Many of us don’t consciously think, I am unworthy, but the belief shows up in subtle ways. When we tell ourselves, I don’t deserve good things, or Of course, I messed that up, those thoughts are rooted in a deep-seated sense of unworthiness.
How Unworthiness Manifests in Daily Life
Most of us don’t walk around with the constant thought, I am unworthy. Instead, we experience it through self-doubt, self-criticism, or difficulty accepting care and support. This belief often starts in childhood and is reinforced over time, not necessarily by what happens to us but by the meaning we attach to our experiences.
For example, when something goes wrong—a rejection, a failure, a disappointment—our minds may automatically link it to our worth. I didn’t get the job because I’m not good enough.That relationship ended because I’m unlovable. These thoughts aren’t the truth, but they feel real because they are backed by years of internalized unworthiness.
Healing Practices That Reinforce Worthiness
Healing is not just about undoing past wounds; it’s about connecting and trusting in new, supportive beliefs… the truth of who you are.
Many of the practices you engage in—journaling, mindfulness, practicing authentic connection, and therapy are ways to challenge the old patterns and reinforce your sense of worth.
Even something as simple as journaling can be an act of worthiness. When you allow yourself to express your feelings, fears, and desires, you affirm that your inner world matters. The same goes for setting boundaries, allowing yourself to rest, or seeking support. These actions send a message to yourself: I am worthy of care, love, and healing.
At the same time, we must recognize the ways we unknowingly reinforce unworthiness. Self-judgment, negative self-talk, or dismissing our needs can all keep us stuck in old patterns. Becoming aware of these habits is the first step in breaking free from them.
The Experience of Trusting in Your Worthiness
Believing in your worthiness is not just a thought—it’s an experience. It’s not simply saying, I am worthy, but feeling it in a way that grounds and stabilizes you. It’s the difference between reacting to failure with overwhelming self-doubt and responding with self-compassion.
When you are truly rooted in worthiness, moments of doubt or insecurity don’t consume you. You may still question yourself, but the doubt doesn’t spiral into shame. Instead, you process it, decide if there’s something to learn, and move forward with self-trust.
Healing Is Not About Perfection
A common misconception about healing is that once you’ve done enough work, you’ll never struggle again. But healing doesn’t mean never feeling doubt—it means those doubts don’t control you.
You might will still question yourself. You’ll have moments when unworthiness creeps in. The difference is that, over time, you gain the ability to navigate those moments with resilience and self-compassion. Healing isn’t about never struggling; it’s about knowing that when struggles arise, they don’t define you and you have the ability to within you to return to your more grounded, trusting self.
Healing from childhood trauma is a journey of returning to your inherent worthiness. Everything you’re doing in your healing process is leading you back to that truth. Please keep going. You are worthy and deserving of the freedom that comes from learning to trust in who you’ve always been and all that is possible for you.
A journey of honoring heart, mind, body & soul. Boundaries are hard. This course will help you recognize what you need and how to move through the obstacles keeping you from implementing it.
